Why oh why?

Why oh why? I wonder why.

I should have known it was a f****** dream. I should have known it would f****** happens. Why would it be? Every dreams and hope (lately) just turned to dust of fairy goneby. Why can't I read the signs?

What so bad about spending family time together? Why wouldn't my dad spend money for that? He gives everything for his siblings etc. Why can't he spend money on us? Is it because we are dispensable? Is it because he thinks we are oblige to love him no matter what? Well, I am NOT oblige to love anyone. There is no such thing as f****** unconditional love. Love IS ALWAYS conditional.

D*** it! My parents are so good in letting people the hardest way ever. They would just let me float my a** off to the sky with a f****** baloon of hope. Then they shoot the d*** baloon off, and let me fall so hard to he ground that I would be buried six feet under. Or worst break into pieces.

I should HAVE f****** known!!! It was just too good to be f****** true. We were to finally spend time together again after the last trip to Bali. God, I hope I leave soon. I can't take it anymore. This family is screwed!

Whatever. I don't care. I AM GOING.

I am going to Singapore with or without you.